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SURVIVOR OUTLOOK: "Your death is the burden to us, not your life"

3/19/2014

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"Survivor Outlook" shares the words of survivors of suicide loss whose experiences with grief and recovery have been reported in the news. To learn more about the survivors quoted, follow the links to the complete stories. Also, learn how to suggest a story.

"If you are reading this ... and you are struggling to survive ... do not stop fighting, not only for yourself, but for your parents, children, siblings and friends. None of our lives are better without you ... Your death is the burden to us, not your life." Diane Morrison, Port Caledonia, Nova Scotia, lost her 21-year-old brother to suicide three years ago.

"Every time he's in my dream, he's a little boy, and I'm not sure what that means -- except that Jeffrey will always be my little boy." Steve Boczenowski, Groton, Mass., lost his 21-year-old son to suicide in 2009. (Learn about the foundation created by Steve and his wife, Deb.)

"I have been shocked by some subtle and not-so-subtle comments indicating that perhaps I should be ready to 'move on.'" Kay Warren, California, lost her son Matthew, 27, to suicide almost a year ago. (Kay and her husband, Pastor Rick Warren, are hosts of the Mental Health and the Church Summit later this month.)

"He was the greatest kid in the world, but he would get into these panic spells and deep abysses ... He was wired different than the rest of us." Tommy John, New Jersey, lost his son, Taylor, 28, to suicide in 2010. (Learn about Tommy John's Let's Do It Foundation.)

"When your kid has cancer, you just know what to do. You stop what you're doing, you get them treatment, and -- god willing -- they get better. But it's not like that with many mental illnesses." Victoria Mataragas, Petaluma, Calif., lost her son, Michael, 24, to suicide in January.

"I talked to her two hours before she took her life. Two hours. She was happy. We had plans to go shopping. Two hours later, she was gone ... Sometimes, it's the person you least expect it to be." Veronica Nott, Newark, N.J., lost her 16-year-old sister to suicide in 2012.

"George was my hero and my friend." Michael Ingmire, North Carolina, lost his older brother, George, to suicide in 1996.

"When I hear suicide described as a cowardly act I shake my head. The person who is suffering has been so brave to live with their pain for as long as they have; we have to find them courageous at some level for doing that." Linda Woods, Kelowna, BC, lost her 13-year-old son, Greg, to suicide in 1990.

"His creativity and genius were exterminated but his story will live on for as long as I have breath in my body." Rebecca Caldwell, Michigan, lost her 20-year-old son, Shane, to suicide in 2011.

"You go in cycles -- peaks and valleys of understanding and grief." Rick Selah, Dallas, Texas, lost his 15-year-old daughter, Kebra, to suicide in 2004.

"We're choosing to live life, versus going down the dark side." Larie Hannum, Utah, lost her son Brody, 26, to suicide in 2009. (Learn about the family's Livastride Foundation.)

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