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SURVIVOR OUTLOOK: 'There is no nice neat explanation'

12/21/2015

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André Parker, center, in blue sweatshirt, died by suicide in 2012 at age 19.
"Survivor Outlook" shares the voices of survivors of suicide loss whose experiences with grief and recovery have been reported in the news. To learn more about the survivors quoted, follow the links to the complete stories. Learn how you can suggest a story.

"Murderers can at least be questioned, but a suicide is a murder in which the killer is also the victim: in which the reason, the motive, dies with the act." Jeremy Gavron, son of Hannah Gavron, who died by suicide in 1965 at age 29 (The Guardian, U.K. -- also see A Woman on the Edge of Time)

"Connor, Will [Trautwein], Robin Williams -- they died of an illness, just as people die of cancer and heart disease ... It is common. It is treatable. It is curable. And it is ok. The stigma needs to go away. People need to talk about it." Erin Ball, mother of Connor, who died by suicide in 2011 when was 14 (WMUR, Manchester, N.H.)

"Suicide grief is so complicated. It's a very physical pain. It affects every cell in your body." Grace Young, mother of Jack Young Jr., who died by suicide in 2007 at age 27. (Hartford Courant, Conn.)

"There is no nice neat explanation. It doesn't work that way ... It's a desperate act." Linda Parker, mother of Jared Parker, who died by suicide this April at age 20 (Prince George Citizen, B.C., Canada).

"Find help, whatever form that takes ... That could be family, religious leaders or mental health professionals. Don't try to keep it in by yourself. Allow yourself to experience the expression of emotions." John Schuderer, father of Noel, who died by suicide in 2001 (The Daily Courier, Prescott, Ariz.)

"If Anna was sitting in front of me now I think she would say: 'Look dad, I made a decision, it may not be the decision you want, but I don’t want you to be so worn down by grief because of what I did that your life ends.'" Michael Mansfield, father of Anna Mansfield who died by suicide this May at 44 (The Guardian, U.K.)

"I had a moment where I received a kind of message ... It was like my brother told me: 'Everything's fine with me. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm surrounded by love. I'm okay. But you need to treat yourself with care.'" Jennifer Boutin, sister of André Parker, who died by suicide in 2012 at age 19 (CBC News, Saskatchewan, Canada)

"I had two children still at home to raise ... Losing everything really was a tough adjustment for us.” Missy Robb, whose husband died by suicide in 2010, on subsequently losing her car and home to financial difficulties (Columbus Dispatch, Ohio -- also see the Dispatch's series "Silent Suffering").

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