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SURVIVOR OUTLOOK: "I can feel him around me, but I miss him desperately"

10/6/2013

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"Survivor Outlook" (formerly "Survivor Showcase") is a regular feature of the Grief after Suicide blog that highlights quotes from survivors of suicide loss whose experiences with grief and recovery have been reported in the news. To learn more about the survivors quoted, follow the links to the complete stories.

• Edith Young, Hendersonville, N.C., lost her son, Timothy John "T.J." Brown Jr., 20, to suicide in 2012: "I can feel him around me, but I miss him desperately."
• Chuck Lewis, Ronan, Mont., lost a fellow Marine, Cpl. Greg Avila, 22, to suicide in 2012: "Do you see anybody else doing it? Somebody has to step up" (see walkingforthefallen.com).
• Virginia Blanke, Mandeville, La., lost her son, Ricky, 16, to suicide in 1991: "I don't know how anyone else does it ... I only know how I lived. It was a lot of grace from God and a lot of people who loved me."
• Diane Marseglia, Bucks County, Penn., lost her daughter, Becky, 16, to suicide in 2005: "I can honestly tell you it was like a village," said Marseglia [about her support group]. "I felt like I lived there because the people all lost someone to suicide, they knew exactly how I felt."
• Ellie Jimmo, Burlington, Vt., lost her son, R.J. Mossey, 38, to suicide in August: "I'll miss telling him, 'Remember your guardian angels' ... That's how I end my conversation with all of my boys, 'Don't forget your guardian angels.'"
• Jack Runion, Hurricane, W.Va, lost his father, Dan, 57, to suicide in 2008: "Don't let how your loved one died taint the memory of how they lived."
• Lissa Coffey, Los Angeles area, as an adult lost a friend to suicide and when she was a child lost an uncle: "[My uncle] may not have made the best choices, but they were his choices ... For whatever reason, this person took his own life. It is not rational, or logical, or right. But it is irreversible."
• James Clementi, Ridgewood, N.J., lost his brother, Tyler, 18, to suicide in 2010: "In the first days and weeks after we lost him, I could not imagine that this much time would ever pass ... I watched my family members crack under the weight of their loss, and I couldn't even grasp what my life could be in three years. I couldn't think of the next three hours."
• Shirley Gross, Fort Pierre, S.D., lost her daughter, Marisa, 43, to suicide in 2011: "She just couldn't cope any longer. She didn't want to die; she just didn't want to live with that pain."
• Deb West, Hanford, Calif., lost her stepson, Jeff, 16, to suicide in 1999: "This [LOSS] team is a fabulous idea ... I wanted to get involved because I know how traumatic it can be. You never think something that horrible could happen to you."
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