STORY OF 'SUICIDE SHATTERS' FOUNDER A REMINDER: WE ARE NOT ALONE

I know Barb Hildebrand both for her thoughtful posts on the American Association of Suicidology listserv (a members-only community) and for the abundant and helpful content on her "Suicide Shatters" Facebook page (which I invite everyone who might be interested to follow).

Describing her mission on Facebook, she writes:

I am a passionate advocate for suicide prevention and mental illness since losing my late husband, Rob, to suicide Dec. 2000. I've had a lot of time to learn, accept, forgive, heal and move forward and feel so strongly that this is my purpose, to take my own experience, share with others and help them on their journey of recovery.

I got to know Barb even better when I recently encountered her story in a post she wrote for the Grief Toolbox about her experience as a survivor, in which she gives us a dozen valuable insights about coping with grief and shares in a most helpful way how her healing unfolded over time.

She believes a key force in her recovery has been forgiveness, which she says has freed her from painful emotions that were "consuming me and destroying me":

Forgiveness is ... not necessarily done for someone else, it is done for you, so that you can begin to heal whatever is holding you back. I have ... learned that forgiveness for yourself is best done first ... I have since forgiven myself many times for things I have done that most definitely contributed to how my life turned out. Each time I do, more and more is released ... and I [recognize] my anger [has] slowly dwindled away.

During the 15 years I've been involved in suicide grief support and prevention, I've known many fellow survivors of suicide loss "from a distance" and then either met them face-to-face or, as was the case with Barb, "met them" more intimately online. These connections stand out to me as a precious reward for doing this work -- and more importantly, as a vital reminder that we are not alone.