Grief after Suicide
  • Grief After Suicide Blog
  • Personal Grief Coaching
  • Training & Presentations
  • Suggest a Story
  • Contact

POWERFUL PERSONAL MOURNING RITUALS MAY BE CLOSE AT HAND

3/15/2014

0 Comments

 
A story in this month's Atlantic, "In Grief, Try Personal Rituals," persuades me that there is something everyone should consider doing regarding personal mourning rituals. The story is about research that concludes "there is a specific way many people can, no matter what their circumstances may be, transcend despair and distress" over loss. The "way" is through the use of ritual, but "not your typical rituals":
Many of the rituals reported were not ... public ones ... Rather, they were private rituals. Only 15 percent of the described rituals had a social element (and just 5 percent were religious). By far, most of the rituals people did were personal and performed alone.
These are personal rituals, performed alone, rituals that people devise themselves. The examples offered in the article are quite simple:
• One woman plays a Natalie Cole song and thinks of her departed mother.
• A widower keeps his and his wife's formerly joint appointment at the hairdressers the first Saturday of every month.
• Another woman washes her deceased husband's car every week, just as he used to do (although she does not drive it).

Why are these very straightforward practices so powerful? According to the researchers:
[These] rituals help people overcome grief by counteracting the turbulence and chaos that follows loss. Rituals, which are deliberately-controlled gestures, trigger a very specific feeling in mourners -- the feeling of being in control of their lives. After people did a ritual or wrote about doing one, they were ... less likely to feel "helpless," "powerless," and "out of control."
How can the bereaved practice rituals that are simple, straightforward, private, meaningful, and comforting (even if they are also evocative), and how can others help them do so? Perhaps merely by noticing the natural presence of a practice that is already taking place. In other words, by identifying a meaningful activity that is already happening, a bereaved person could explore (or be encouraged to explore) whether it might serve as a healing ritual.
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    FREE NEWSLETTER
    BLOG HOME PAGE
    • "After a Suicide" Resources 
    • Directory of Survivor Support Groups


    Categories

    All
    Advocacy & Policy
    Announcements
    Black Community
    Children's Grief
    Community Support
    Death Of A Child
    Death Of A Friend
    Death Of A Parent
    Death Of A Sibling
    Death Of A Spouse
    Depression & Grief
    Experts On Grief
    First Responders
    FJC's Journal
    Grief And Communities
    Health & Grief
    Helping Others
    Holidays
    Men's Grief
    Military
    National Guidelines
    Peer Support
    Programs And Services
    Research
    Spirituality & Grief
    Suicide Prevention
    Support Groups
    Survivor Outlook
    Survivor Resources
    Survivor Showcase
    Survivor Stories
    Taking Action
    Trauma

    Grief after Suicide posts are by Franklin Cook (unless noted). Learn more about Franklin's work in suicide grief support.
    Blogs on Suicide Grief
    • Alliance of Hope
    • Healing Suicide Grief
    • Lala's Mom
    • Our Side of Suicide
    • Mary's Shortcut
    • Loss of a Child
    • Bright Shining Star
    • Speaking of Suicide
    • Everything But the Cat

    RSS Feed

    TERMS OF USE AND SERVICE
    Must be read by anyone posting any content on this website.

    © 2016 Personal Grief Coaching.
    All Rights Reserved.