Clinical and social science researchers have paid little attention to the experiences of parents grieving the loss of children to suicide, despite the fact that suicide is one of the leading causes of death for adolescents ... The large study reported on in Devastating Losses ... represents a substantial and important response to this call, with findings that are both clinically relevant and likely to inspire future research related to grieving parents.

Devastating Losses is a testament to the important role of meaning-making in grief work, in this case the power of scholarly inquiry in the context of profound personal loss.

I didn't want to get out of bed, and for the most part I didn't for about 3 months. All of the pain from the loss of Noah and all of the pain I buried deep inside after the loss of Katie rushed to the surface. I couldn't cope.

They were people that didn't judge you or feel uncomfortable when you started to cry while telling them your story. They embraced you and checked in with you on a regular basis. They would take your calls regardless of what they were doing at the time. They provided me compassion, sympathy and hope. They never told me to toughen up and plow through it.

... to Katie, Noah and myself that once I was strong enough, I would reach out to other dads that have lost a child and help them come to terms with their loss and to help them find their way.

Spouses who use such strategies, called Partner-Oriented Self Regulation (POSR), tend to agree with statements such as "'I stay strong for my partner,' 'I hide my feelings for the sake of my partner,' or 'I try to spare my partner's feelings.'" Researcher Margaret Stroebe says the strategies are counter-productive:

"While parents seek to protect their partners through POSR, this effort has the opposite effect, and it is associated with worse adjustment over time. Surprisingly, our results suggest hat POSR has costs, not benefits, and not only for the partner but also for the self."

"Couple Hopes to Help the Suicide Bereaved" (Annette Hinkle, Sag Harbor Express) highlights Bill and Bev Feigelman's efforts to spread the word about the needs of survivors of suicide loss. The Feigelman's son Jesse died by suicide in 2002 when he was 31 years old, and his parents are now dedicated to the cause of helping people bereaved by suicide.

The article tells of the Feigelman's advocacy on behalf of people who have lost a loved one to suicide, including their "mission to convince medical schools and continuing healthcare education programs to train doctors about the importance of reaching out to the newly bereaved and offer appropriate referrals."

They are also the authors of a recent book on suicide bereavement titled Devastating Losses: How Parents Cope with the Loss of a Child to Suicide or Drugs (with co-authors John Jordan and John McIntosh), which is based on data from the largest survey ever conducted of parents surviving a child's suicide or other traumatic death.